3 ways to easily gain trust using body language

As a communication coach, one of the most interesting challenges I have encountered recently is helping a leader who has not inspired trust. When I asked, "Why?" someone told me, "He has a problem with his face-no one believes him."

So when I saw my client, I looked at his face. He is very good-looking. So where is the problem? He has good eye contact. He didn't twitch, and didn't make a face—what's the problem? I kept watching and watching, and finally I noticed that he had no expression when he spoke or listened—no expression. He has no expression. He is completely hidden. No wonder he didn't inspire trust.

Why is trust so important? A 2017 study published in the Harvard Business Review found that companies whose employees trust their leaders reported a 50% increase in productivity, a 13% reduction in sick leave, a 76% increase in engagement, and an increase in work energy 106%. So building trust is not only good, it is necessary.

Not surprisingly, I have many clients who come to me for help to help me how to inspire trust immediately—especially in today's virtual, hybrid, lobby meetings that use super-large screen projections.

Here are some tips I give my clients to help them have facial expressions that inspire trust.

Focus on the present

When you speak, make sure your mind is not attracted by what you want to say and what you actually say, speak it out loud.

You can say, "I am very happy to be here", and you may think, "I hope I am not here. I hope I am not so nervous. I hope I can practice more."

If you consider these feelings, your facial expressions will reflect these feelings, not your words. What you said does not match what you showed. In other words, don't be a downright liar, try to focus on the task at hand.

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You must learn to focus on what you are saying. I once heard an interviewer ask a high-altitude skier who just turned gorgeously in the air to win the championship, "What are you thinking when you are in the air?"

He replied: "I'm thinking about what I'm doing."

When you speak to gain trust, you must think about what you are saying—not how you think about what you are saying.

Let yourself have a complete experience

You can't just move your lips. You can't just raise your eyebrows. You can't just wrinkle your forehead-unless you are a close-up movie star with the right lighting and the right shooting angle.

You are not playing a movie role. You are real, so you must have complete expressions, not partials.

So how do you have complete expression? You must let your feelings show. My faceless client-why not? Because his father suffered a trauma and was in a vegetative state at home for many years, he had to learn to conceal his feelings. Over the years, whether intentionally or not, he had to be isolated from the world and expressionless-as a survival solution. But blanking is not a solution to build trust. You must have a complete expression, you must show a complete feeling.

Let your face go to work

There are 43 muscles in your face. Just like any other muscles in your body, if you don't use them, you will lose them. If you do not use your facial muscles, you will lose the ability of your face to reflect your feelings. Therefore, practice facial squeezing to pull all facial muscles together. Try to open your mouth wide and explore moving your chin from side to side. You don't have to look at yourself in the mirror. Close your eyes. Feel the movement. Twitch, squeeze, open, close. You have to relax those 43 muscles on your face to let your facial expressions come out naturally.

Today, there is a lot of debate about how accurately people read facial expressions. Researchers analyzed the dynamics of these 43 muscles in the face and compared these movements with people's emotions. They found that attempts to detect or define emotions based on people's emotions are almost always wrong. They report that facial expressions are always seen in context and cultural context.